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<p>在很多时候,可以让自己没心没肺的笑,笑断了浮沉,笑枯了无奈,笑出了无尽的眼泪。告诉我的是时过境迁,物是人非,回不去的从前。然凄凄切切,魅影琉璃,仍是一场空悲赋华殇。</p>
<p>夜深人静,从前的点点滴滴如同鬼魅随行,说实话,我真的厌倦了这样的日日夜夜没完没了,像一首冗长的唱诗,故作深沉,自我掩埋。即使我是如此的厌倦,却也拜托不了往事的纠缠。</p>
<p>有时候看见碎影斑驳的陈旧的房屋,就会久久地不能移目,贪恋岁月留下的温存,留下的沧桑的明媚忧伤。遥遥看着来来往往的行人,杂乱却轨分明的脚印,突然就听不见他们的声音,像极了一幕幕角色鲜活的哑剧,自己就是一个过客,不称职而冷漠的过客。变得很沉默很敏感很矫情,连自己都被逗的哑然失笑,请原谅我,连忧伤的表情都做的这么敷衍,却还在呻吟青春灼伤的痛的难过。这样说来我所做的一切都很称职。</p>
<p>一直以来却还不自知,直到自己解剖,血肉模糊,才发现是这样轻飘飘的失败。对不起,我连失败都轻飘飘的,无所依傍,不是沉重。很多人都告诉我说(很多人包括认识的,不熟悉的,不认识的,陌生的攀谈者等,我是一个很乖很懂事的孩子,请允许我依然自称孩子,我不会把自己深入骨髓的悲伤和绝望,疯癫和无奈告诉亲友,并不是因为我爱他们,当然也不能说我不爱他们,看吧北京治疗癫痫病专科医院。</p>
<p>我又死钻牛角尖了,请原谅真正的原因是我怕他们不要我了,而不熟悉的陌生人则谈不上遗弃或者对我失中国领先的起重机械门户望)你不能再这么忧伤,这么绝望,你这是自我折磨,我说我知道,但如果我不折磨我自己我就会把无耻的折磨附加在别人身上,那多不好意思啊,然后他说,你可以折磨我,我内心强大,无坚不摧。我笑着说,好,谢谢。然后他说,他突然很想哭,为我。我突然就笑的很开心,也很难过。</p>
<p>然后就在也没有联系。还有人说让我去死,我笑着感谢他,他就一直道歉,我说没关系,反正不近我心,则不伤我身。他说他愿意陪我一起受累受苦。我说不行,我舍不得愿意为我受累的人受累。就在也没有联系。就这样行色匆匆穿梭在人群,始终一个人。一个人。有些善良的人会和我谈论什么人生观,什么价值观,什么婚姻,什么爱情,什么精神,什么信仰。我持着假的要死的表情说一些恶心得掉渣的话。</p>
<p>然后看到他心满意足地拍拍我的肩膀,说,好青年,前途不可估量。语重心长,宛如自己是那个有千年机缘才能穿越时空的玛雅人,不次劳苦地告诉我世界的下一个出口就在西南方向。待他飘然离去,我吐的稀里哗啦,然后双手插兜,隅隅独行在阳光与阴交错的河北分类信息网小径。我很不高尚,没有想过报效祖国,只想着不要拖累别人就好。如果那个玛雅人知道我是这样的冥玩不灵,会不会直接把我扔进水沟。</p>
<p>想到这里,我又神经质地笑了。看过很多书,自己济南治疗癫痫的权威医院买的,图书馆借的,上同学那恬不知耻地拿的,看得越多,越是找不到自己。真的,算了,不想了,也不看了,就这样走着,一直走着。</p>
<p>路上,我看到了烂在枝头的玉兰花。</p>












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